Does it feel like you and your better half are always arguing about something? Some people live in relationships with this fear to the point that they just stop talking to the other person so they don’t start a fight. Sometimes there’s a serious problem going on, and sometimes it’s just a matter of communicating with your partner. Either way, try these three things to help you stop fighting with your spouse.
1. Make out instead of fighting.
What? You thought I was going to give you some type of deeply theological, philosophical and psychological wisdom? Seriously, it’s hard to fight with each other while you’re kissing. Obviously, there are times when this isn’t appropriate — but there are times that this is the perfect action to diffuse a stressful situation. Before long you’ll forget why you were even fighting.
2. When you’re having a conversation, listen to hear, not to respond.
How many times have you been in an argument and the entire time you were just trying to prove you’re the one who’s right? Probably every argument, right? What if you actually listened to the other person’s point of view? Listen, I get it. Your husband is a jerk and you want to beat him over the head with something. But maybe, just maybe, if you listen to his heart in the matter, you might understand better. Truly understanding the other person will help you to have empathy, and perhaps consider something from a new perspective.
3. Think about future implications.
Every time you feel yourself starting to get angry and a fight is coming on, ask yourself the question, “Is this going to matter a year from now? Five years from now?”
If the answer is no, there’s really no good reason for this disagreement to turn into a knock-down drag-out. Sure, you might be ticked off, and the situation is probably worth having a discussion over, but is fighting really necessary?
There are times when fights are unavoidable, but if the only conversations you’re having with your husband or wife are shouting matches, something is definitely wrong, and it’s time to see a professional. If you need some help getting conversations on the right track, check out our free resource: 10 Communication Tips to Improve Your Relationship in Just One Week!. Or, when you’re ready to talk, make an appointment with us in Owensboro or Hartford.