Tell me if this scenario sounds somewhat familiar: it’s bedtime. You’re trying to help get the kids’ baths done. You’re trying to make sure the dishes are done. And now it’s time to get started on laundry. And the dog needs to be taken out. And then something else, and then another thing, and then, and then, and then… and finally by the time you’re finished with the “and then’s”, you’re exhausted to the point that it takes all you can do to get yourself ready and drag your butt to bed.
Welcome to the majority of American households. Every. Single. Night. We look at this routine, and then wonder why so many marriages are ending in divorce.
Ready to Reconnect with Your Partner? Use these five tips to rebuild your relationship:
#1. Let the mess wait.
Yes, I know. Control freaks around the world are having a meltdown reading that. Let’s all take a step back for just a minute. I get it. Too many of us feel others are judging us by the way our homes look. But I have three questions for you about this.
- Who the crap cares how your house looks at 8:00 or 9:00 at night? Do you have company coming over later? If so, do they not realize that children are messy little creatures? If you have a “friend” who you know will judge you for how your house looks, kick that fool to the curb.
- Are you afraid mom would be disappointed? Guess what, mom has a messy house too sometimes – don’t let her tell you and different.
- Which is easier to deal with later, a messy house or a divorce? Is your house being clean really more important than your marriage? I know this sounds silly to most of you, but for some of us, it creates so much anxiety to think about a dirty house that we really wonder.
Remember, a messy house doesn’t define you. And neither does the anxiety you’re feeling about it right now.
#2. Take some time for yourself.
A lot of us feel more connected to our spouse when we have the time to make ourselves look nice. It can be as simple as slipping off the t-shirt and sweatpants and putting on some nice jeans. This can make you more confident in your appearance – and more attractive to your better half. You don’t have to be a supermodel or the guy on the cover of GQ. But take some time to put the effort in to showing your partner that you care.
#3. Have a date night.
At least once a week, you and your spouse should set aside a Date Night. A lot of relationships settle into boring routines after a time, and Date Night helps to inject a bit of excitement back into it. You may not be able to swing it EVERY week – I get it, but do it as often as possible and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what this can do for your relationship. Even if it’s something as simple as sitting on the back porch drinking a Coke, just use the time to be together – just the two of you – and connect.
#4. Make them the center of your attention.
Doing something special for your husband or wife will cause you to feel closer to them. Something as simple as making his lunch or leaving her love notes to find can be a sweet way of letting your better half know just how much you love them.
#5. Be creative.
It’s ideal if you can get away together for a few days. Just you – not the kids. Seriously. Find a sitter. Your marriage will thank you.
But if you can’t get away – you’ll need to get creative to make a special night at home. Create your own mini-vacation. Watch DVD’s, eat popcorn, and snuggle on the couch. Play cards. Get out one of the board games that you both enjoy. Basically, whatever the two of you can enjoy together can be a special “staycation” all your own.